


Lost In The Corridors

by amyrillus



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, all of these stories take place out of order, also good evening I like to swear so, get ready, there's gonna be... a LOT of OCs for some chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:51:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26940178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyrillus/pseuds/amyrillus
Summary: A bunch of little stories that will center around Cayde-6 and the Guardian. They're primarily romantic, but some take place before their relationship, and some after. I'll give a little snippet of the "timeline" before each chapter to help clarify. And, as always, if you have any constructive criticism please share!
Relationships: Cayde-6/Female Guardian (Destiny)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Watch Your Six

**Author's Note:**

> Starting this series off with a nod to Season of Dawn, and the Corridors of Time. Set after Forsaken. Well, except for the obvious bit ;)

Mira walked through the Corridors of Time, finding an odd peace as she did. She'd peek in on different periods of Mercury's timeline, bound loosely to Saint-14's life. The vast white plains broken only by some vex architecture and marauding vex themselves somehow calmed her. A simple fight, something to keep her on her toes between the echoing bridges that spanned each period. She walked through another period of time where Saint was on Mercury, pausing as she found herself at the top of a tall spire. A perfect sniper's nest, were she not an interloper in this timeline. She looked around, curious as to what was important about this moment. Osiris had marked important periods, allowing her passage into them with the understanding that she would not tamper with them without the permission and wisdom of the warlock.

She wasn't sure why she was here. There was no sign of Saint, no sign of much at all, and then a loud _boom_ shook the air, and she crouched to avoid detection. Mira pulled out her sniper rifle, and scoped in on the source of the commotion.

Someone was gold gunning down there, and she smiled at the Hunter, excited and maybe biting off a little more than they could chew. They were a little sloppy, a couple of shots missed, but not bad. She watched as they dropped a couple of goblins, and threw a grenade at an approaching Hydra. Mira grimaced as they took the shockwave of the Hydra's self-destruct, and sucked a breath through her teeth as a Minotaur struck them hard. The Hunter swung a shotgun out and dropped the Minotaur, but fell to a hobgoblin who got a good shot. Mira felt her heart still as she watched a little ghost appear. It looked around, and decided it was safe enough to rez, but failed to notice a cyclops appearing behind it.

 _Look behind you!_ Mira cried internally, as the Cyclops rose and took aim.

Mira swung her scope down to the Guardian's face. If it was one of the long lost, maybe she could answer an age old question of what happened to them. Mira focused on the Guardian's face.

She gasped his name.

Without thinking she swept her rifle up and pulled the trigger.

The Cyclops burst and the Sundance swiveled around, no doubt in shock at the destroyed Cyclops. The Ghost trained her eye on Mira before slipping away in a shimmer of light, and Cayde sprang up, dispatching what was left of the vex with renewed vigor and body. Mira watched vigilantly as he did so, taking in every moment of this young Cayde -- a Cayde before she'd ever met him.

"Why did you do that?" Nomad asked her incredulously as she watched. He knew she knew the possible consequences.

"He doesn't die here," she said softly.

"You might have ruined the timeline."

She snorted. "You showed Saint-14 a map of our current City. I can make sure Cayde lives through this day."

While her Ghost pouted silently, she peered through her scope as Cayde looked around, no doubt listening to Sundance. Then he looked right at her, and waved with a big stupid grin on his face. She raised a hand in greeting, even as her heart caught in her throat.

"Sundance is hailing us," Nomad said, panicked. "What do I do?"

"Patch them in," she said.

"But--"

"Please."

Nomad heard the desperate note in her voice, and relented, unable to deny his guardian this.

"Hey!" The brunt of this young Cayde's cheerful and carefree voice nearly ruined her, but she watched him through her scope, soaking in every detail. "My Ghost tells me you saved our bacon, Stranger."

"More or less," she managed. She swallowed her grief and welling love and hope and continued. "Figured I couldn't let a regular space cowboy like yourself bite it in a place like this." _This is better than the Prison,_ a horrible voice in the back of her mind hissed.

"Space cowboy, huh? I like the sounda that," Cayde said. 

She chuckled, blinking hot tears out of her eyes. She wanted to see him for as long as she could. _It's like he never died,_ she thought, as she felt herself fall into her old patterns. "I bet, what with the flashy gunslinger moves."

"Ah, saw that, did you? Tell me, what was your favorite part? I know it all looked cool, but I'm trying to perfect my style here."

She laughed, genuinely _laughed_ , shook her head. "The parts where you actually hit your targets were my favorite."

He sucked in a breath, and made an _ooh_ noise that told her everything. He wished she wouldn't have pointed out the flaws, but was definitely feeling playful, maybe even flirty. "Alright, so what does my new sniper friend recommend?"

"Try hand cannons over rifles," she said. "You seemed more comfortable with them, like when you gold gunned. Sure, you missed a few shots, but that's expected with Kinderguardians."

"Who said I was a Kinderguardian?" He demanded.

"Your aim, Cowboy."

He pouted up at her, hands on his hips. "Is this a challenge? This sounds like a challenge. You, me, go time!"

"You really wanna do that when your head's in my crosshairs?" She questioned coyly.

"Well, obviously you come down here and then we have ourselves a little High Noon. Whaddya say?"

"Guardian," her Ghost chided.

"I know," she said to her Ghost before replying to Cayde. "As fun as that sounds, I'm here on a job, so I gotta get going."

"Well, when that's done, how's about we settle it over drinks back at the City?" He offered, and she paused, standing.

"You don't even know my name," she said.

"No, but I'd like to. Something tells me a lady like you isn't someone I should just let slip by."

She smiled to herself, feeling the painful squeeze in her heart. "You won't," she promised. "I'll see you later, Cowboy."

"Is this one of those, ' _I'll_ find _you_ ,' kinda situations?"

"Not quite," she said softly. "You'll find me one day, having the time of my life -- but don't be offended if I don't remember you. Time's a funny thing, after all."

"Right, totally not cryptic," Cayde said. "Well, will you at least tell me your name?"

She swallowed. She couldn't tell him her name, could she? They’d shown Saint-14 images of their current City, but… she’d been warned about messing with time. Cayde certainly had never put two and two together when they’d met, and she was already playing a dangerous game just by talking to him. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you now,” she said finally. “You’ll know when it’s time.”

“Again, not cryptic at all.”

She chuckled. “Sorry, it’s part of the job.” She looked around, the sandy dunes of Mercury swept by a biting wind, and she tried to capture this moment in her memory. Yet, she saw no sign of Saint-14. Why was that? Why had Osiris gone out of his way to mark this moment if Saint wasn’t here? Then again, Cayde had almost died, and without him maybe Mira wouldn’t be here now. An idea struck her, and she realized what she’d done. “Oh, and Cayde,” she said. “When you get back to the Tower, tell Osiris that his friend from Mercury says ‘thank you.’ He’ll understand -- eventually.”

“Sure, if I can find him,” Cayde said. “Hey, did I tell you my name? Feels a little unfair that I don’t know yours.”

Mira smiled. “Bye, Cayde,” she said, voice choking just a little. She never did get to say a soft goodbye to her partner. “See you when I wake up.”

“Wait--”

She felt the window closing, and she took the familiar step back, feeling time and space sweep her away. When her feet touched something solid once again, the bright white of the Corridors leached away, giving way to the warm golden sands of her present Mercury. Osiris stood by the Sundial, pondering some timeline or equation as he fiddled with his cubes. He paused and looked up at her, curious as to what she’d found. “You’re back,” was all he said by way of greeting.

Mira nodded, her throat still choked with emotion as she approached him. “I suppose you figured out that I was your friend from Mercury,” she said finally, voice rough with the effort to speak clearly.

His hand outstretched to manipulate the cubes closed, the objects disappeared as he did so. “Yes, I did. Though at the time I built the Sundial, I did not know exactly what role Cayde-6 would play in saving Saint-14. None, I suppose.”

She chuckled at that. “He had _everything_ to do with it,” she said. “I wouldn’t be here, be who I am without Cayde. And for what it’s worth, thank you for letting me see him. For letting me save him.”

Osiris’ gaze broke from hers, though she could just see the hints of a smile wrinkle the corners of his eyes. “Yes, well. I figured that this quest was not mine alone, and if there was one I considered a friend, this was the least I could do for them."

Mira bowed her head, smiling under her helmet. “Thank you.”


	2. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little look at Mira. Where she's been and how she's doing. I think we all miss our favorite exo this time of year too :')

The first year Mira is in the City, she lights a candle for the people they lost on the journey in. One candle for all the people she failed -- but Nessa is by her side and smiling softly, as if to forgive her. They don't have the money to buy more. They light the candle together, and settle it in amongst many other candles in a local square. They hold each other as they watch for a moment, taking in a new tradition as they mourn loved ones.

Eventually, Nessa kisses her, soft and sweet, and tells Mira that she needs to rest. The guardian agrees, and they go home, comforted in each other's embrace.

A few decades later, Mira adds a new candle to her tradition. Nessa, despite their relationship having ended long ago, has died this year. The realization of the mortal lifespan hits Mira like a ketch, and no one was there to comfort her except her Ghost, Nomad. She lit two candles this year, and nestled them gently below the railing of her favourite lookout on the Tower. She sits with them for a while, unable to partake in the festivities just yet. Nomad sits tucked under her jaw, pressing lightly against her neck. She absently stroks his shell with a finger as she thinks. All the things she'd ever wanted to say to Nessa were pointless now. She'd always thought maybe she'd pop in, see how she was doing. But it wasn't that simple, it wasn't easy. Nessa had a life, children, and a partner who was  _ present _ . She had the life she'd dreamed of, one Mira couldn't bear to be a part of herself. And so she tucks herself around Nomad, and mourns silently.

It is years later that Mira plucks two candles from a shop with a friendly smile, and hums her way through the City streets. Nomad drifts beside her, looking around at all the decorations, and chatting with her idly.

Noone and Rhett are waiting for her on the corner outside the night market. Rhett is munching enthusiastically on some seasonal treats, while Noone is trying to come up to some solution to a nonexistent problem with his Ghost.

Noone greets her with a smile, and the Hunters bump fists in their little custom. Rhett finishes his food and hugs her briefly, before offering her "something sweet" with a waggle of his eyebrows. Noone pretends to wretch.

Mira just laughs and plucks the candies from his hand, smiling mischievously as Rhett whines about wanting a kiss instead. She indulges him a moment later, and Noone rolls his eyes at them despite his fond smile. Mira laces her fingers through Rhett's, and their little fireteam is off to enjoy the rest of the festivities.

Almost a decade later, and Mira is placing a few more candles along with the others. This time, a warlock named Leo sits beside her, and the two get to talking. Leo is bright and funny, and most of all, she’s sweet. They click instantly, and spend the night partying and drinking together. They wake up on Leo's couch way too early the next morning, with matching grins despite the raging headaches. It’s the start of a beautiful friendship.

The very next year, she’s being jostled by a goofy exo she'd met last winter, Cayde-6, and his crew. They’re a gaggle of smartass Hunters that he'd introduced her to enthusiastically that night. They'd already laid out their candles earlier, and Mira is somewhat thankful for that. It wouldn't be a very reflective moment with this rowdy crowd of men around her. No, they’re taking her drinking and partying, and all the things in between.

Somewhere in the blissful haze of alcohol and the low light of a club, she finds herself kissing a beautiful woman, and it isn't until she gets a better look at her does she realize  _ why _ she finds her so beautiful. She looks like Nessa. Not exactly, but the hair and face shape are similar, and Mira suddenly feels sick. She apologizes and bolts from the club, and manages to jump her way to a rooftop despite her inebriated state. The cold air is just enough to rouse her from the brunt of her haze, and lets her gaze up at the Traveler to ask  _ why? _

Cayde's friend, Andal, finds her a while later, and she tells him the half truths and what's appropriate to tell an acquaintance. Andal seems to understand on some level, and just sits with her in companionable silence. She likes him, she decides. He’s kind, and obviously just wanting to help. Maybe Cayde's band of seeming idiots isn't so bad after all.

The next year, Mira's excited for the Festival. She has no shortage of friends or plans, and she's given leave for the entirety of the holiday. The weeks are filled with laughter and friendship, and she's wrapped up in the fun of it all. Of course, she lights her candles and takes a moment to remember, but she's focused on  _ living _ this year.

And live she does.

The first week is spent partying with Leo and their ever growing group. Leo affectionately calls each outing a girl's night, despite the fact that more than half of them wind up going home with someone. She thanks the Traveler loudly one night, after a few rounds on a rooftop with a beautiful Warlock, that Guardians are blessed with unnatural endurance and rebound fast as hell from their hangovers. The Warlock just giggles and pulls her in for a passionate kiss.

The next week, Mira finds herself whisked away by Cayde and his merry band of idiots, all but kidnapped from a club. She cries out in delight as they hoist her into the air, and run out the club with her.

At the end of a long night, a drunk game of truth or dare is spent staggering along the Wall with Cayde's group, and half the dares are to jump off, of course. Lush is dared to kiss the most attractive person there, and he laughs heartily before giving Andal a big, wet kiss that leaves the other man startled, if not a little flattered. Mira giggles until her foot is caught, and she stumbles in drunk and dramatic fashion. Before she knows it, everyone is on the ground with her, all having tried to catch her, or someone else, and tripped over themselves in the process. They all laugh uproariously again until they simply give up on walking. Bottles are passed around, and Mira finds herself leaned up against Cayde, too drunk to stop herself from studying his features. It starts out as pure curiosity, wondering at how his face moved and all the little pieces that went into it, and she’s too drunk to really think about personal space or anything like that. Then he catches her staring, and she’s suddenly struck by how handsome she finds him. Of course, she flushes bright red and her mind blanks like a teenager with a crush, and by the time the beginnings of words are forming, Cayde has leaned in to kiss her. 

It’s oddly warm and sweet, and while she's never really  _ thought _ about kissing him before, she finds herself not wanting to pull away. It isn't until the others howl at them does she remember that they’re present, and she flushes a darker red, burying her face in Cayde's neck as he teases the others about being jealous of Mira for getting to kiss him.

After she breathes and accepts the teasing, they ease off, but she secretly relishes in the way Cayde keeps an arm around her. If nothing else, she feels pretty with his attention on her. She lets him take her home that night. And the next few nights as well.

  
  


Five or so years later, Mira’s tangled up in a messy relationship, and ready to end it. Festival of the Lost allows her a moment to herself, away from her pushy and clingy warlock boyfriend, with whom she had been trying entirely too hard to make it work. She knows it, and Cayde certainly told her enough times to drop him. Hell, Leo had given the guy the nickname "Stormcaller" because of how often he'd call or message her while she was out. Her circle of friends all seemed to feel the same way about the guy, and she had to agree: it was time to drop him.

And so, rather unceremoniously, she breaks up with him, a few purple candles in hand as she explains why they were done.

He doesn't take it well, he never takes any criticism from her well, and promptly spits venom at her about everything  _ she _ did wrong. She simply grits her teeth and nods. He’s proving her point, after all, and she leaves with her things that day.

She doesn't light a candle for that lost relationship.

Mira is returning home two years later when she stumbles into the heart of the festivities. Reeking of ozone, Light, gunpowder, she’s wrangled by some friends into the fun. She’s passed a mask of Shaxx's helmet, and laughs as she puts it on.

Takeo-8 is giving her a piggyback ride when she spots a horn poking out through a mask of a Fallen captain.

She steers the exo Titan she’s riding on through the crowds, and waves to Cayde as he looks up at her.

He recognizes her armor and cloak, and laughs at the sight of Shaxx riding a Hive knight, and comes over to them.

Takeo's red eyes arguably make the Hive knight mask scarier, but Cayde isn't particularly perturbed by that. No, it’s the sight of Mira clinging so comfortably yet again to someone else, but the sweet grin on her face as she lifts her mask to look at him clearly nearly melts him.

She puts the helmet back on, and slides easily off Takeo's back and embraces Cayde, excited to see him. They’re close now, the two of them. Many nights had been spent laughing or drinking together, to say nothing for their brief stints of sleeping together when they're both between relationships. She has a soft spot for Cayde, and he for her, grown from late nights on watch duty together, or teaming up on long patrols. It’s in the way she trusts him, and listens to all his schemes for a potential that might just actually work, and always sneaks out a bottle of something good for them to share. It’s in the way he teases her, but genuinely apologizes if he takes it too far, secretly takes a couple more hours on watch before her shift, or the way he offers her the tastiest bits of his rations. Their friendship simply works, and Cayde has promised himself time and time again  _ not _ to fall for her. He's seen her relationships live and die, heard about them, and how they seemed to end in tragedy. Mira has told him before, promised him even, that she’s bad luck. For some damn reason, it only makes him want to hold on tighter.

Cayde pulls at the string of her mask, and lifts it away to see her face, and he grins down at her little pout. She reaches around and undoes his mask, and looks at him with mischievous eyes as if to say  _ now we're even _ . He chuckles and winks at her, makes a smart remark about her undressing him already, and is more than a little pleased to see her easy smile and faint blush. After the festivities, he lets her take him home that night. And for all the other nights of the Festival.

Years pass, and before they know it, every Hunter is lighting a purple candle. Kauko had disappeared, and they have heard nothing since. They light their candles for their Vanguard, praying to the Traveler that Kauko would return one day.

It never comes.

Two years later, Mira is setting a purple candle down on Andal's shiny new desk with a teasing smirk and a wink.

He rolls his eyes and humors her, asking why she's brought him one.

She tells him it's for the loss of a great Hunter.

He tells her he isn't dead yet.

She laughs and presses a friendly kiss to his cheek, always teasing him.

She lights a good number of candles now, may as well have one to smile about. 

Many years later, and Mira isn't smiling.

She sits on the nose of her docked ship, her face streaked with tears, as she recalls her lost friend. She stares out over the City, numb. She has one candle for all the people she's failed and lost. Nomad says nothing as she sets it on the hood of her ship, and lights it with a bit of solar energy concentrated at the tip of her index finger.

They sit in relative silence, Nomad trying now and again to comfort her.

Soon enough Cayde arrives with Andal's cloak around his hunched shoulders, a haggard look in his eye, and a bottle of something strong in his hand. He looks like she feels.

He adds a candle of his own, lights it much like she did, and sits beside her. There is a bit of space between them, their ever growing relationship halted and cut by the circumstances of Andal's death. They'd argued, yelled and screamed and cried, and she'd drifted in and out, trying to get information on Taniks -- always Taniks screwing things up. It was her way of standing by him, even when she was furious. Helping, because despite it all, she loves him, so painfully much even though he’d made it clear he was terrible at relationships. Cayde understands why she’d distanced herself, of course, he always manages to.

But now their anger is gone, and all that’s left is two people, exhausted from the loss of their friend and rage fueled hunt that had ensued.

They drink, they laugh ruefully at sweet memories of Andal, and they cry. The candles burn low, so too do they. Mira looks up at Cayde sadly, seeing all the opportunities they'd missed together, and he seems to see them too. They share a regretful kiss, and prepare to go their separate ways home.

Sundance sighs at Cayde, quiet but meaningful, and Nomad gets right in Mira's face and just stares at her, as if to say _are you fucking kidding me?_

Cayde is about to leave when she stops him. Nomad's right. They'd already missed out on so much, why should they miss more? It isn't perfect, but then, it never is, and she’s tired of not knowing how he feels about her, and tired of not telling him. Cayde finds he's tired of denying himself, and tired of feeling like he's missing his shots.

They go home together that night, and all the nights after.

A year later, and they'd settled in. She still kisses him like crazy at home, and he always sweeps her off her feet (sometimes literally) when she least expects it. 

They buy their candles together, and light them on the Tower, placed around a memorial for Andal. Cayde keeps an arm around her, protective and loving, and Mira rests her head on his shoulder. It’s perfectly respectable and a lovely photo op for anyone looking for a story. As Vanguard, Cayde shouldn't party like everyone else does this year, for the sake of this presentation.

Of course, this means they find their friends, drink, laugh, and dance the night away. Zavala can be pissed later, if he wants, but Mira ships out again in another day, so they're making the most of their time together on the Tower.

Cayde watches her leave in the soft early light of dawn, and misses her all the more when the festivities start in the evening.

He drinks with Zavala and Ikora that night. Just a few glasses of the good stuff around a table in Zavala's spartan apartment. It's a nice change of pace, Cayde finds. Hell, he even manages to get them to laugh at a couple of his terrible jokes.

He goes home and finds a purple candle and a note sitting on the nightstand.  _ Just in case _ .

He doesn't want to think about it.

Many years pass, and various candles are bought and lit, many parties are spent with the friends who survive, and life goes on.

Mira is exhausted this year, vex masks make her jump, and Cayde forces her to leave any and all weapons at home. He picks knife after knife off of her, because she's insistent that they go out, and he's trying so very hard to reach some compromise with her. Her eyes are distant, and he holds her close, hoping to help to ground her.

A firework  _ booms _ in the sky, and she jumps, shaking violently against him, and he holds her closer.

It hadn't been all that long ago that she'd dove head first into the Black Garden, and killing a god on her own had left her shaken.

She spends more time with the candles that year than with friends, and Cayde is there beside her.

It isn't long after that the Hive gods rear their extremely ugly heads, and Cayde worries for her more.

The next year, they don't go out. The masks and festivities shake her, and she doesn't want to hurt anyone. Cayde stays in with her, and they light their candles on the coffee table, huddled together on the couch with a couple mugs of something hot. Their apartment is decorated to the nines, because Cayde is nothing if not extra, and he wants to bring the holiday to her. She's always loved the Festival, and he sees how badly she wants to participate. So their place has sunflowers and engram lamps strung all over, and a few electric purple candles decorate the far corners for low light. Hell, he's even gotten them costumes, and taped something silly to their Ghosts' shells. (Sundance proudly shows off her witch hat, and Nomad is begrudgingly a doofy bat with googly eyes) They watch an ancient scary movie together, but she spends most of it staring fondly at him. She can't imagine life without her partner.

The year after, Mira’s insistent that they get off the Tower for at least a day and visit Shiro and Saladin. Cayde pretends to complain -- the snow, the cold, the pack of wolves that loves to chase him -- but is itching to get out and away from the Tower for even a second, so he arranges for his duties to be taken care of. Zavala finds it within his heart to agree to take over Cayde’s duties for three whole days, in exchange for a favor at a later date. Cayde agrees readily, and has himself and Mira out the door and on his jumpship with enough purple candles, decorations, and blankets to down a ketch.

They spend the nights around a fire and surrounded by wolves, sharing stories with Saladin and Shiro. It’s a lovely little getaway, and they’re sure to spend as much time as they can running around outside and pretending to be irresponsible kinderguardians again.

In the late hours of the night, Cayde and Mira wrap themselves in copious blankets and furs, and lose themselves in each other until the sun comes up. It’s three perfect days away from the Tower, and three perfect days they would never forget.

There is no Festival of the Lost this year. Mira spends what she thinks would be the holiday stumbling through the mountains, starving and Lightless, scared for her last life to give. Nomad looks up at her weakly from the ratted scarf she'd scavenged off a dead Hunter. More half-living Ghosts who'd lost their guardians sit all but defunct in a backpack of supplies. Their little group settles into a cave that night, and she starts a small fire to keep her warm. She thinks of Cayde, and prays that she doesn't need another candle next year.

With the City reclaimed and Ghaul dead, she dances with Cayde through the whole Festival. The City is flooded with purple candles this year, but Mira has the one person who matters most to her, and she couldn't be happier. Cayde kisses her with a passion, and they burn bright together, like a midnight sun.

She hopes it lasts forever.

The next year, Mira sits dead eyed in her apartment. The Colonel clucks softly, and Nomad is silent. Ace of Spades rests refurbished in her hands.

Nomad nudges her softly, and she sighs, and pulls on her boots. A vermillion streak marks her armor, and she pulls Cayde's cloak tighter around her.

She makes her way to the memorial, candles in hand. People part ways for her, dragging others out of her path, and letting her settle in right in front of Cayde's portrait. They'd asked her for a picture, and she'd given them one she thought he would've liked. He had this big goofy grin on his face, a thumbs up, and Sundance by his side. She nearly breaks down at the sight, but sets down the candles silently before the picture of her fallen partner.

Everyone is waiting for her to say a few words, she can feel it, but she simply lights the candles and mourns in silence.

They all see the gun at her hip, and they all know what she's done. She's slaughtered her way through the Reef as back for him, and now she cannot bring herself to speak.

She can feel Zavala watching, judging her silently, but she isn't a Titan. She doesn't make speeches. Ikora comes and kneels beside her, rests a hand on her back, and the dam breaks loose. Tears spill over as she finally meets the eyes of another for the first time in what feels like forever, and Ikora holds her in silent companionship.

Zavala leaves. Mira thinks he might finally understand why she bled Reef. She hopes he does.

The next year, Mira's time is consumed on Luna, and time with Eris Morn is in abundance. She returns to her nihilistic friend with six purple candles.

They light them along the table of Eris' keepsakes of her dead fireteam, and Mira adds an ace of spades playing card to the table below her candle. Eris says nothing to this, but seems to look at her with approval.

They sit together and share a few strange chocolate coins and other seasonal confections. They share memories of their loved ones, and spend a good amount of time in comfortable silence as they often do.

It comes as a surprise when Leo and Takeo come popping out of the portal, and into their little moment of peace. The Warlock and Titan are no shortage of talking and cheer, and despite their initial shock, Eris and Mira welcome the well-meaning intrusion. It's good to remember not everyone they love is lost.

Mira is on the Tower again the next year with a pouch full of purple candles. She sets out around the Tower, mind settled and purpose in her step. It's been an unusually calm year thus far by her standards. Sure, she'd killed the Undying mind so many times the vex gave up, brought Saint-14 back from what was essentially perma death, there was a whole mess with Rasputin and the Almighty, and the  _ actual fucking Darkness is here _ \-- but it's all been fairly anticlimactic, truth be told. No great war, no gods to stomp, no great vengeance to take… and the Darkness is uncomfortably curious about them. The lack of hostility is almost a let down after all the stories she’s heard. For once, nothing has happened to shake her to her core this September, and she's not sure if she should be relieved, or if the feeling of dread building in her should be heeded. 

Either way, she stops by Cayde's old work station and decorates it to the nines, just like he would've wanted, and puts a little sign around The Colonel's neck.  _ Pigeon Lord _ it reads, and she chuckles to herself as she goes to approach Saint-14. He greets her with a booming voice, and pulls her in for a bone crushing hug before he asks what she needs. It's his first year back, and she wants him to rejoin life on the Tower, so she gives him a candle and stays to chat for a bit, then heads out along her rounds.

Amanda is finally finished on tinkering, and accepts the candle with a sad smile, and asks Mira if she'd want to get ramen later. Mira agrees with the same sad smile.

Things are still tense between her and Zavala, but she gives him a candle without words, and there's a pain in his eyes that tells her he understands. Perhaps he'll light it later for his lost wife, as Mira does for Cayde.

Shaxx accepts his candle with uncharacteristic silence, and a nod. He clasps her shoulder, and she his, and for a moment, she feels she can read his expression through the helmet. It passes though, and she's on her way.

Banshee blinks at the candle, but accepts it, trying to remember who they've lost. His optics dim with realization as he sees the gun at her hip. He sighs, remembering now, and nods while thanking her. He tries to keep Cayde's memory alive when he can remember it himself.

The ramen shop has a small shelf installed under the photo of Cayde, and numerous candles are lit there. It makes Mira smile as she passes on her way to Ikora. The Warlock Vanguard has been working on some secret projects, and has become largely reclusive these days, despite being physically present for any new Warlocks. She accepts the candle with a small nod and a few words, and squeezes Mira's arm.

Hawthorne is trying not to watch them too closely, but she's obviously wondering if Mira will come to see her. Mira walks up the steps mere moments later, and offers Hawthorne a candle that she accepts with some relief. She's still not used to City life and being included, even after the last few years. But Mira smiles at her, and gives Louis a little scritch on the head before continuing.

Ada-1 accepts the candle, glowing with her radiance, and intending to light it for her mother. It’s one of the few holidays that Ada can really understand, though she finds the later festivities obnoxious. They share a few more words, before Mira is off again.

The Drifter scoffs, as he always does, and asks her why she's giving him a candle. She simply says what he does with it is his business, but that he should remember that he doesn't have to be in it alone. He howls in laughter at her, and she pats him fondly on the cheek, effectively shutting him up. She's the only one who dares touch him and knows that she can get away with it, so she does. He looks alarmed at the low level affection, but only for a split second. She's flicking a chocolate coin his way and he catches it out of the air with ease, a smirk on his face to cover whatever he's thinking about.

She even stops by Benedict 99-40 and leaves a candle by the smoking frame, which greets her with a buzzing voice. She wonders if Calus can see this.

Mira leaves the Tower and shoots out across the system, offering candles to the people she knows and cares about. It feels grim to hand Asher, Sloane, and Vance candles, but they accept them knowingly. They understand why she offers them, but will not be swayed from their decisions. They go to them gladly, but it’s always nice to know there’s someone out there who cares.

Eris is on Io, and Mira takes the time to travel into the Cradle after seeing Asher, and brings her a few decorations and treats in addition to the candle. Eris says that she is grateful for the brief distraction, but she looks at Mira with a suspicion that hurts. The messages from the Darkness haunt the Hive-touched woman, and Mira cannot blame her. Mira wishes her well, and promises to be back if or when Eris needs her again, and is off.

Ana is busy, but thanks her with a distracted smile and a wink, while Failsafe delights in another candle to the growing collection around her core. Petra accepts hers with a glint of pain in her eye, despite the words of thanks. Spider laughs at the offered candle, delighted in the human tradition, but Mira wonders if there’s anyone out there that he misses.

Saladin and Shiro are two birds with one stone and one stop, and she offers them candles over a pack of friendly wolves who are all demanding pets. 

Devrim is her last stop on her system-wide tour, and he greets her with a smile over a cup of tea. She chuckles at him, and gives him the candle, and offers to take over sniping for a bit. He makes a smart remark when behind her, a young guardian -- a Hunter -- makes his way in. He looks uncomfortable, and Mira sees a tension form around Devrim’s eyes that she doesn’t understand. Not until the Hunter speaks.

She would know that voice anywhere.

It takes everything she has not to lunge forward and rip the helmet off, confirm her suspicions, and then shoot him dead once more with Ace.

She had seen Uldren rise again from the Queen’s Court, and it had taken every ounce of her self control then not to set out across the Dreaming City and pop the Ghost and Guardian on sight. 

But she does nothing but watch this Hunter now as he cautiously approaches them, looking small and timid despite his height and stature. She does not ask his name, she does not ask how long he’s been alive. She does nothing now for the same reason she did nothing before: He’s not Uldren Sov. He’s a Guardian now, innocent of the crimes of the man she killed. He’s here to ask about bounties, and she’s watching him with a critical eye. She wonders if there’s any inkling of who she is in the back of his mind -- if he recognizes her face, gun, or cloak in some odd feeling like deja vu. He only cocks his head slightly, uncomfortable with her intense gaze, and Devrim’s own growing anxiety.

Finally, Mira reaches down, and feels her trigger finger twitch.

The candle she offers him is small and was meant for Mithrax, under the assumption that she could locate and meet him. It was a far-fetched endeavor to begin with, but this candle seems to suit the same purpose.

They are no longer enemies, instead, perhaps they could move forward together, if not as friends, then at least allies.

The Hunter accepts the candle, almost seeming shocked at the offered kindness. It seems that he hasn’t known much of it since his rebirth, and it doesn’t surprise her.

Mira finally leaves back for the Tower, a late night bowl of ramen and a delightful shipright awaiting her, but Mira takes an extra moment to stop by the old Tower, and sneak away into the remains of one of her old hiding spots. It's one of the places she would go with Cayde to avoid Zavala for an hour or two. She sits down on an exposed beam in what she approximates to be the right spot, and lights her last two candles. One for all the loved ones she’s lost before, and one specifically for Cayde. Nomad is by her side, and asks her about Not-Uldren.

Mira shrugs, and gestures to the candles beside her. It was for Cayde. The path of murder and vengence, and absolute  _ war _ she’d waged across the Reef and back had been in large part because of what had happened to him, yes, because she loved him unlike any other, but not only that. She’d lost herself in her duty, become robotic and grim, and pushed away loved ones while simultaneously becoming violently protective of them. She quite understood Eris now, in that way.

No, it was the healing that she’d spent the past two years desperately clawing her way through. It was the healing that she was doing in Cayde’s name, because she knew he’d be furious with her for going down a path of self-destruction.

Ace sat in her lap as she mulled over her decision. Her fingertips ghosted over the spade, and she knew that despite her ache in her heart, and the hole Cayde had left in her life, she’d done the right thing today.

She doesn’t bring Not-Uldren up to Amanda, not as they sit in the view of Cayde’s smiling picture, or when they go to pick up The Colonel before the day ends.

No, for now Mira will wait and think on this alone. And for now, she focuses on trying to live again.


	3. Slow Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is right after the Red War, before everyone packs up and moves to the new Tower. A little send off for the Farm, too.

Mira sat at the edges of the party, watching people mingle and move on and off the dancefloor. The night was winding down, but music still played even as people were starting to pair off and head out. The Red War had just ended, and they'd wasted no time setting up a victory party on the Farm. Someone had scrounged up speakers and string lights and set up a whole celebration. As it was, Mira now had a couple bottles of something hard to drink and a flower crown someone had put on her head at some point. Now she just sat off to the side, content to watch and drink. Her friends had come and gone, so now she was simply sticking around to see the party through. There was something oddly calming about it, watching people go with smiles and without fear for what the next day brought.

"Hey there, Beautiful," a voice said, making her jump sky high.

She sputtered her drink and blinked up at Cayde, who'd successfully snuck up on his buzzed partner. "Cayde!" She scolded without venom, embarrassed more than anything while he laughed and sat beside her.

"In my defense, you're cute when you're surprised," he said, and pressed a kiss against her temple.

She grumbled, but smiled at his gesture, and leaned into his side. "You're a jerk," she said.

"But here's the thing: I'm also cute, so you won't stay mad at me," He grinned, and pulled her closer into his side.

"I'm never mad at you, just really annoyed sometimes," she replied easily, and took another drink from her bottle.

"Really? Cause what about that time where-- hm." he cut himself off, suddenly thinking over his words.

"What's that? Do go on," she goaded, grinning mischievously.

"No, nope, cutting my losses here. You're right, you've never been mad at me. And since you're not mad at me, how about you pass me the bottle? No one bothered to give the guy with the plan any free booze."

She passed him the bottle with a kiss, and he smiled down at her before throwing the back a few swigs. "Whoo, that's the good stuff! Nothin' like moonshine," Cayde said. 

Mira hummed in agreement, resting her head on his shoulder. They watched the partygoers under the warmth of the string lights, sitting in contented silence. "I want this moment to last forever," she admitted quietly. "You, me, a beautiful, warm night, a fresh victory, and nothing to worry about."

"Getting sentimental in your old age?" he teased with a crooked smile.

She laughed. "No, just… it was a lot to get here. And there's something different about being out here. It's like I can almost forget…"

"Forget?"

"That I'm a Guardian," she said. "Like I just feel normal out here. Not different, or 'gifted,' or whatever. Just a person." She sounded wistful, as if there was some long lost time she was trying to reclaim. It wasn’t uncommon for Guardians to wonder about their past lives, about what it would be like to be normal, instead of fighting war after war.

Cayde was looking at her, something almost sad lingering in his eyes. "Do you still like being a Guardian?" He asked. "After everything that happened, I'd understand wanting to take a break -- and hey! As your Vanguard, and I can absolutely make that happen."

She laughed softly at him. "I still like being a Guardian, don't worry. I'm just enjoying the moment. Hawthorne was right about some things -- we need to reconnect with the people we're protecting. It reminds me of… well, reminds me of my early days."

"That group you came to the City with?"

"Yeah," she said, eyes growing distant. She hadn't thought about those people in a long time. It was funny, she couldn't quite recall their faces anymore, but she remembered moments with them as if they'd happened a week ago.

"Hey," Cayde said, drawing her out of her reverie. "Dance with me?"

She blinked up at him, surprised. "Dance?"

"Yeah, can't have our shining hero sitting on the bleachers during Prom."

She raised an eyebrow.

He stood and grabbed her hand, eyes hopeful. "C'mon, I'll even say please."

She smirked at that, and allowed him to pull her to her feet. "Don't degrade yourself for me."

"Eh, I don't mind," he said, and led her to the dancefloor. "After all we’ve been through, I can take a little hit to the ego for you.”

She smiled a little at him, her hands finding his shoulders. The song was slow, easing down the night of celebration. His hands were on her waist, and he pulled her close. Mira followed his lead, swaying in time to the music, and she rested her head on his chest. She felt his heartbeat, something that existed only to help convince his mind that his body was still human. Even so, it was comforting to hear. Being together with him now, after the fear that she'd lost him before they'd found the signal leading to Nessus, then the horror of seeing him down an arm and a leg before she fought Ghaul… it seemed surreal. The risk of losing him had been so high, but now she was close enough to feel his heart in his chest, and bask in the press of his Light against hers.

Mira lifted her head from Cayde's chest to look at him, and when she met his gaze she was awed by what she saw there. It was such a tender look in his eyes, the love and honest joy, and intimacy took her breath away. Beneath a sky flooded with stars and the warm glow of the lights, Cayde was haloed in her vision, as though he was the only thing in the universe that mattered. And in that moment, he was. A hand cupped his face, and Mira drew him in, their foreheads bumping gently together. "You're beautiful," she said, even as she struggled to maintain his gaze at this proximity.

He breathed out a laugh, and closed his eyes for a moment. "Keep that up, and you're gonna make me blush."

"It's true," she said. "You're beautiful, and I love you."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a slow, tender kiss. "I love you too,” he murmured. “Also, you’re beautiful, can’t forget that,” he added quickly, making her laugh.

“You’re too much,” she said affectionately, and kissed him again.

She’d remember this moment forever. No matter what happened in the future, she’d never forget this brief moment of bliss with Cayde, slow dancing into the night, and basking in the warmth of his Light.


	4. Moving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set right after the Red War campaign. Remember that?

Mira eyed the Colonel as she set down another box. Not much had been salvageable from what remained of the old Tower, so she and Cayde had had to go out and get a bunch of new stuff. So when Cayde had walked in that morning with the chicken under his arm and announced her as a new roommate, Mira had had some reservations, but she couldn’t exactly say there wasn’t space for the bird in their new place. Cayde had gotten attached to the little feathered friend during his time on the Farm, and how could she refuse him anything after the harrowing war they’d just been through? But that didn't explain to her what the chicken was doing standing on her new kitchen counter. 

By all means, this apartment wasn't as nice as the last, and didn't even hold a candle to what Cayde's former place had been, but housing was tight right now, and the nicest thing the Vanguard got were new offices. Between her and Cayde, they'd managed to get a good sized apartment, but the fact of the matter was this tower didn't have the same level of care as the last one. That still didn't mean she wanted this place to become an oversized chicken coop.

"Cayde?" She called, checking if the exo was home.

Silence.

She sighed, and picked up the bird, who clucked and looked at her with perpetually alarmed eyes. "No chickens on the counter," she told Colonel, and set her on the kitchen floor. She didn't want to deal with chicken poop around the house, so this was going to be Cayde's project, as she refused to try and house-train the bird. If it became a problem? Well, she always had her postings to go to, and Cayde would eventually either realize the folly of trying to keep a chicken in an apartment, or actually manage to house-train the thing. Either way worked for Mira, so she'd let it go for now.

Nomad appeared by her side, and looked around. "So, where do you want to put things?"

"Glasses over there, plates can go there," she said, and pointed to some of the higher cabinets. "Gotta find a good place for all these pans…"

"Maybe Cayde could help?" Nomad said, transmatting glasses out of the packaging and onto the counter. "Hm. You’re gonna want to wash these before you use them," he said, looking at her through the warping of a glass.

She chuckled at her Ghost and picked up the glass between them. "I have no idea where Cayde went," Mira said. "Colonel's here though, so he can't be gone for long."

"Maybe he wants you two to bond," Nomad suggested.

"I'll blink and Colonel will be dead -- no offense, pal, your life's just way shorter than mine," she said to the chicken, who just took a few aimless steps around the kitchen.

"Call me crazy, but I don't think she understands you," Nomad said. "Think we can just stick her on the balcony?" he stage-whispered.

"We probably will," Mira sighed. "It's gonna drive the neighbors insane, though."

"Cayde's problem?"

"Cayde's problem."

They laughed a little and got back to unpacking. Mira began inspecting and washing various cookware, getting them ready for later use. She made a mental note to get Cayde to bring home takeout, since there was no way either of them would want to cook after this.

An hour later, with the kitchen done, Mira sat against a cabinet, a glass of water in hand. The sound of transmat caught her attention, as it came from somewhere in the apartment. "Sundance?" She called.

"And your handsome partner!" Cayde called back.

Mira got up from the floor, leaving the water on the counter, and started back through the apartment, towards where his voice had come from.

"What are you two doing back here?" She asked.

"Ta-da!" Cayde grinned, posing next to a mattress on the ground. "Got us a bed!"

"Huh, knew I was forgetting something," Mira said, suddenly running back through a list of things they needed in her head.

"Well, how about we do something you won't forget?" He asked with an eyebrow waggle that made her laugh.

"You're ridiculous," she smiled as he swept her up in his arms.

"You love it," he said, and gave her a lopsided smile as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I do," she agreed, holding his face and kissing him.

"Mmm, that's more like it." He dropped to his knees on the mattress, and laid her out on her back. She squealed in delight as she bounced onto the bed, Cayde climbing on top of her. Her hands clung to his shoulders as he kissed her more fervently, and she closed her eyes in bliss as he began to move down, placing kisses and nips on her neck. His hands began to wander and she hummed in encouragement as they went to the hem of her shirt. She opened her eyes to watch him but what she saw made her freeze.

Looking down at her weren't Cayde's luminous optics, but the wide-eyed stare of the Colonel.

"Cayde."

"Don't worry, I'm just getting started," he promised, hands sliding up her abdomen.

Her hands stopped his from the other side of her shirt. "Stop."

Cayde looked up, with the gall to look surprised at her flat tone. "What's wrong?" He asked.

She stared at him with disbelief. "A chicken is watching us -- I don't know -- get frisky!"

"Frisky? Just how old are you?"

She wasn't sure if he was asking if she was a century older or younger than she actually was, but that didn't matter. "Cayde!"

"What? I'm sure she's seen plenty of Guardians get it on at the Farm."

"It's a front row seat for an audience I'm not okay with!"

"You know our Ghosts have definitely watched us have sex before, right?"

"Not the point!"

He sat back on his heels, frowning. "So the point is?"

"No chickens in the bedroom--"

"She's just lonely," Cayde interjected.

"-- _ Especially _ when we're about to fuck," Mira said firmly.

Cayde sighed dramatically, but Mira knew she'd won. "Alright, I'll put her outside. Don't move," he told Mira, and she smirked smugly at him.

Cayde swooped up the Colonel, apologizing to the bird as he set her outside the bedroom. "Sorry, Gal, gonna have to wait this one out -- your mom's a little self-conscious." He closed the door and turned to see a very unimpressed partner laying on the bed with arms crossed. "What?"

"I'm not that bird's mom."

"Mira, please. The walls are thin, she can hear you."

"Okay, that's it, I'm gonna finish moving stuff."

"No you don't!" Cayde said, and wrapped his arms around her waist before she could get up all the way, and pulled her back down onto the mattress.

Mira laughed despite herself, unable to keep up the bluff. "Okay, but promise me no chickens in the bedroom from now on," she said, looking up at him pleadingly from where her head rested on his shoulder, her fingertips already smoothing against his jaw, down his neck, and across his collar. 

He pretended to look to the Traveler for strength, but finally heaved a sigh, unable to resist the promises of her touch. "Alright, no chickens in the bedroom. But what if she has a nightmare?"

"Cayde."

"Alright, alright, just kidding,” he chuckled, tangling his fingers through hers and kissing her knuckles. “So, where were we?"

Mira just grinned and kissed him, ready for all the perks of a new bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm not dead! Considering doing another chapter post-Forsaken, where it's a look at my new adopted son, Crow, and how Mira deals with him. Idk, I really like getting into the psychology of character interactions, and characters reluctantly coming to care for other characters is my jam.


	5. Buzz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-relationship fun, just something short for now.

The heavy beats of the club pulsed a dark pleasure into its patrons, the throng of bodies moving and grinding against each other. Cayde grinned at the sight, downing another shot. He lived for scenes like this -- just people being people, letting loose and acting on their every desire.

He moved into the pulsating mass of people, pretty girls and guys alike making eyes at him. Somehow, Guardians were never hard to spot. Maybe it was just the way they moved, maybe it was the confidence that could only be built up over centuries, but people always seemed to know somehow. It wasn't like Cayde was Vanguard or something -- no, Kauko could handle that particular fame, but even so, people turned to stare. Cayde just slipped through the crowd, waving off a few dancers who offered themselves for a song. No, Cayde had a goal in mind, and she wasn't far now.

Mira danced freely in the crowd, her long hair loose and wavy in the heat of the dance floor. Her body spoke of sex, and her eyes and mischievous quirk to her lips promised so much more. She didn't see him coming, she wasn't watching, lost in the music and safety of the low light. Cayde saw another guy moving in, and waited a moment, amused. The guy moved in awkwardly behind her, unsure if he should just go for it or not, and tried to match her pace. Meanwhile, Mira was blissfully unaware of the awkward man behind her, and too intoxicated by the beat and alcohol to care. Cayde just chuckled, shaking his head and crossed the last few feet, catching the other guy's eye and grinning cheekily at him. He touched Mira's elbow and she opened her eyes, locking him in a sultry gaze. "Guess who's drunk enough to dance," he said over the music.

"Me!" She laughed, and spun so that her back was to him, and then she pressed her body against his. "Dance with me!"

He laughed back at her, but obliged, his hands on her hips and rocking along to her movements. When he looked up, the other guy was scowling, but walking away, aware that he'd missed his shot. 

Mira smelled of leather and sweat, a combination that he found undeniably alluring in their current situation, unable to help but remember other ways they’d worked up a sweat together. She rocked against him, and he hummed, leaning forward, pulling her closer. She tilted her head to the side and swept her hair out of the way, not wanting the barrier between them. He leaned down and nipped lightly against her neck, right where he knew she liked it. The song transitioned into another fast beat, but she turned around and pulled him in, kissing him sloppily, pressing tight against his body. When she pulled away, her eyes were dark and glinting dangerously in the pulsating lights. Cayde wanted nothing more than to pull her into the nearest dark corner and continue, but her lips were moving, and he couldn't make out her words between the loud music and the sudden haze that seemed to short circuit his brain. He tapped his auditory receptor, and she rolled her eyes with a grin. She pointed at him, then herself, and then pulled him flush against her by his hips. Well, the message was certainly clear enough. He nodded vigorously, and she laughed, pulling him after her out of the club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... was gonna write something for the Dawning, but it's... so long. I'm not even sure where I was going with it either. So here's something short and sweet I had saved as a backup.


	6. Lost Loves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-relationship, before the games.

A pair of hunters sat adjacent to each other around a fire, Lightless people milling about the small encampment. It had been nothing more than a scouting mission for Cayde when he'd come across Mira guiding the group to the Last City. He always said her altruistic nature was gonna get the better of her one of these days, but he admired it nonetheless. Now Mira and Cayde were winding down, readying for their turn on watch duty. Cayde was fiddling with some kind of high-tech puzzle box he'd recovered on a mission a while back, and Mira sat with a guitar, testing and tuning. She'd picked it up moments earlier, and Cayde had cast little more than a curious eye in her direction. Then she started testing chords, and he paused to watch. He'd figured she was just restless, and toying with whatever it was people had left laying around. He didn't really think she knew how to use the instrument.

"You know how to play?" Cayde asked Mira, puzzle box forgotten.

She looked up at him, blinking like she'd been somewhere else in her mind. "Hm? Oh, yeah, I haven't played in…" she paused, trying to total up the years or decades, but simply gave up. "... a long time."

He smiled at that. "Yeah? I'm surprised you had the time to learn."

Her expression became hard to read, as she looked down at the instrument in her lap. "Can't say I really 'learned'. Not in this life, anyway."

He quirked an eyebrow, now really intrigued. "Whaddya mean?"

"You know how we all wake up, and we just know some things?" She asked. "Like, most of us wake up knowing how to shoot certain guns. Others have a strange affinity for Light, or don't necessarily know either, but have good hand to hand combat?"

"Sure," he said. After all, he'd known how to shoot when he woke up, and a few other things, but he'd chalked most of that up to being an exo. "Woke up with a blessing for a six shooter and eye for trouble."

She smiled. "Lemme guess: you think that's where the most fun is?"

"Got it in one," he grinned back with a wink.

Mira rolled her eyes good naturedly. "Well, anyway, I get to talking with guardians when we're at the Tower," she continued. "Turns out we all know weird little trivia. Nothing to place who we were, just things that we learned at some point. Most of it's some kind of muscle memory, but sometimes it goes beyond."

"Beyond? Beyond how?"

“Like, we have little scattered information, just little random things.”

“Yeah, like?”

"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."

Cayde blinked, dumbfounded. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know!" She exclaimed, clearly being slowly driven crazy by the saying. "But some Titan said it to me as an example and I can't get it out of my head!" She sighed and strummed idly at the guitar. "My point is we all have some kind of stupid leftover memories that didn't get wiped when we were rezzed. Some things just stick, I guess. For me, it was working magic with a rifle and guitar."

"This is a really roundabout way of telling me you can play a damn instrument," he pointed out.

"You asked what I meant by when I said I didn't learn in this life," she replied. "I'm telling you I learned it in my previous one, and --" she suddenly grew quiet, her hands stilling over the strings. "Someone dear to me helped me remember," she finished after a moment.

Cayde paused a moment himself, not sure what to say, but he certainly understood having a secret someone. After all, he'd never just tell her about his Queen of Hearts, but he was curious as all get out now. "Tell me about them?" He asked, and her gaze turned up to him once more. Their eyes met, and he saw a turmoil of emotions there.

"Her name was Nessa," she began slowly, considering where to start and where to end. She was always planning, that one. Mira couldn't step away from that urge to plot out courses for everything for even a moment. "I met her not that long after Nomad first woke me up," she continued. "She…" Mira smiled sadly at the memory of the other woman, and swallowed. "She was beautiful. Hair like fire, and beautiful stormy eyes. We connected instantly." Mira turned her gaze back to the guitar, and began to play idly, some song that Cayde didn't recognize. "She was the first person to make me understand love, and what I wanted in being a Guardian… and she always found a way to make me laugh. She always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. The first time I used my Light to fight, it was to protect her from a Fallen gang that had been hunting our group. But she wasn't a damsel in distress either," Mira chuckled. "Oh, she could wipe the floor with me in hand to hand combat for the longest time."

Cayde watched as her gaze turned wistful, seeing some memories out beyond the treeline, lost in another lifetime. "So what happened?" He asked, because no one was as mixed up as Mira was if things had ended well.

Mira sighed, and her hands paused again. "We fell in love," she said simply, but with a melancholy note to her voice, as if love had been some unavoidable misfortune. "And that kind of thing never lasts when you're a Guardian."

Cayde hadn't really considered that. Anyone he'd been with he hadn't really been  _ in love _ with, and beyond that, he'd never really considered being with someone who was Lightless. He found himself oddly compelled to tell her, so he did.

Mira gave him a sad smile. "Well, they want all the things we can't have," she said, gaze lingering on the families and couples around camp. "Normal people want a family, and safe jobs, and to be sure their partner comes home safe every night. No one wants a partner who is gone for months on end, and may have just disappeared at some point, never to be heard from again. Nessa and I made it a long time, all things considered. Then she wanted to have kids," Mira sighed. "And, well, how was I supposed to help her raise them? Kauko kept sending me on long assignments, wanting to send me on longer ones, and I… I wanted those jobs," she admitted. "Those jobs meant I could do what I'm doing now, helping people go somewhere safe, give them protection if they need it. It was stressful for Nessa, of course, but she understood. I understood her views too, but I wasn't happy behind walls. So that was the beginning of the end."

A moment of silence stretches between them, and Cayde blinked, shaking his head slightly as if he was bewildered that she'd end the story there. "Wait, that's it?" He blurted.

Mira's eyes snapped to him, surprised herself. "Well, yeah."

Cayde shook his head more earnestly now. "Look, Mira, you really gotta learn the art of storytelling. If you're gonna take me on an emotional joyride, you might as well finish it," he said.

She let loose a small, unexpected laugh, and grinned at him. "Sure, but there's not much more to tell. Nessa asked to break up, even though we still loved each other. It was what was right for what we wanted. We didn't want to resent each other for wanting different things. I could never help care for kids, and I don't want them. And she, well, she wanted me home safe with her, at least. Take up a patrol job around the walls, something that would let me come home every night. We wanted different things out of our partners, and so we decided to split."

Cayde hummed. "That's rough. Sounds like you made the right decision for both of you though."

"Yep," Mira replied, and looked down at the guitar again. "Anyway, she died a long time ago now. Curse of being a Guardian, huh? I get all the time in the world to regret missing out on her."

"Nah, you didn't miss out," Cayde said, and was half expecting the glare she shot him. "Okay, listen," he said quickly, working on recovering the situation. "You loved her, you said she taught you a lot about yourself, and life, and on and on, and you saw it through to the end. Right? You did right by her by leaving,  _ and _ … well I don't have an and, (kinda hoped I'd think of one when I got there) but you get what I'm saying here?"

She blinked at him, as if she were surprised he'd actually listened to her. "Uh, I think so?"

"What I'm saying is: we live a long time. Basically everything is temporary to us, but you made the most of the time with the woman you loved that you could, and ended things when it was time to move on. Most people only dream of being able to say that." 

Mira smiled slowly and softly at Cayde, as if seeing him in a new light. Then, she seemed to realize that she hadn't said anything in a while, and cleared her throat awkwardly. "Wanna hear a song Nessa taught me?"

She was gazing up at him shyly, a light blush across her cheeks that he could just make out in the firelight. Not for the first time, Cayde found her just a little cute. "Sure," he said, his voice maybe just a little huskier as he held her gaze.

So Mira began to play, something surprisingly soft and sweet. But when she began to sing, suddenly Cayde understood more about her lost love than she'd told him. Hell, he felt he understood more about love than he'd ever really experienced. Mira's voice wasn't perfect, not bad, but she got the emotion through. Cayde was struck by the sudden swell of emotion he felt towards the other Hunter. She never once met his gaze, eyes either closed or focused on the guitar, but he felt more connected to her than he had most people in that moment. She sang about love, and he thought of his Queen of Hearts. He felt an ache in his heart for a love long lost to him, one he might’ve only ever imagined for himself. In that moment, warmed by a fire under a sky bejeweled with stars, Cayde felt he'd be lucky to ever experience love like the way she sang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never felt comfortable with waking up and being sent right out the gate as The Chosen One to save the Traveler. Therefore, Mira is old, but not like, Dark Age old. That little bit of middle ground old.


End file.
